Anonymous asked: hey uh what advice would u give on coming out as trans to parents/in the workplace/at school ?? i mean i know thats a lot to ask but i feel lost and really dont know how to go about this stuff

omg don’t worry i’ll do my best

i can’t really give you advice, but i can tell you what i did and my thoughts about it.

a. parents

i’ve been very confused about my identity for many years (as the long-term followers of this blog will remember) and i’ve told them i was everything from a lesbian to genderqueer.

it never lasted, though, and i suppose it was mainly just testing it out and see if it felt comfortable. 

this, however, meant that when i was to tell them there was a fairly good chance they wouldn’t take it so seriously.

it’s important to mention that my parents are the most accepting and open-hearted people i know. so i was off to a pretty good start.

i think the tipping point was that i showed them exactly how much dysphoria bothered me and how much i struggled with it. my instinct tells me to hide it away and be cool and clear about the explanation, but that’s really not gonna do anything good in a situation like this.

b. workplace

i feel workplace is pretty weird because it’s very likely they’ll see it as a conversation about genitals. and that’s not appropriate in a workplace.

i spent like four months trying to just go cis and see how long it lasted, but i was starting hormones and dysphoria, so i had to do it.

i ended up sending out a group email along these lines:

"hi everyone,

this is a short notice to tell that i’m transgender and i now identify as a boy.

from now on, i’m isaac and he/his. i know it’s a bit inconvenient to learn a new name, but it really means a lot to me and i’m very patient.

i’m gonna start male hormones in january (it was november at the time) and that means my voice is gonna get deeper and such. it also means i have to see a doctor quite often in the first month.

thank you all.

amanda/isaac”

and i was so fucking nervous and shook but like within the next hour i just received like happy emails from everyone saying i was cool and stuff. nothing transphobic.

bear in mind that we were only eight daily employees, but we had consulents and teachers running in and out of the place. i never came out to them, they just sort of understood that i was no longer amanda and started calling me isaac too.

c. about school

i can’t really say anything here. i’m currently going stealth, and i find young people are more accepting, but also much more likely to ask rude/inappropriate questions. i refuse to have my gender identity thrown around between lunch tables like a good story, so i don’t tell them. yet. i might be open later on, but for now, i’m just isaac. super, super feminine isaac.

last note:

i have a life with thousands of acquaintances and friends of friends and you know, people you meet a few times a year. the most incredible thing was that if you’re in a group of people where 9/10 know you’re trans or even just 7/10, no one screams “OMG WHAT” when someone calls me isaac. they just go with the flow because they don’t wanna be the idiot asking me if i’m a girl.

a girl i like bought me two vintage butterflies today

it must be love

i just sent my official application for legal sex change so i can finally get my real name on my passport!

there’s six months of waiting because they wanna make sure we don’t rush into it but that’s alright because march 1st i’m gonna be isaac fulltime!

texty update

i started a new school last week.

it’s this creative nordic kind of school where there’s no ‘real’ subjects - everything is creative and there’s no exams.

so i chose the subjects i wanted (photo, drawing, band, singing & songwriting) and today was the first day with band

and the entire night i had been struggling with anxiety in my sleep (bad habit) and i could barely get out of bed

but i forced myself and when i got there

the teacher was like ‘hey isaac, do you sing?’

and i was like ‘yeah’

and he said ‘great, you’re now the front singer of a band’

and it went so well :’)

i tried film

Anonymous asked: hi Im a boy and Im trans, so Im choosing a name for myself. I chose Lucas but I just cant adapt to it yet, it seens like an empty name. could you please right a short little story about a boy named Lucas so I can like this name more? and please not make him trans. if it helps my personality is like Peter Pan's but without being cocky and mean

hello there.

honestly if lucas feels empty to you, there’s two approaches. either you choose a new name that means more to you, or you decide to fill it in with your own meaning.

i wanted to write you a story, but i feel it’s the wrong thing to do as a name is a super-personal thing and identity shouldn’t be shaped by anyone but yourself.

and if the problem here is that you chose one name and came out as that but changed your mind, get a new one. say you’ve been out for a year - people have gotten used to it and call you this on a daily basis, so it’s awkward to change now. but if you’re living with this name for sixty years, i suggest it’s better to seem awkward now and get a perfect one.

i suggest babynames.com. or maybe just peter. like you said.

i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m insulting you, but names mean a lot to me and i really think it’s hard to choose so i think it’s good for several opinions on the process

isaac

Anonymous asked: Hi. I'm physically a female, but I have always with heart and soul been a boy. My mother is very religious. She's already finding it hard to cope with the fact I'm pansexual [though she tolerates it, she doesn't accept it]. So I can't tell her I'm transgender. Maybe in ten or fifteen years, but definitely not anytime soon. I try to be who I am through wearing ''boyish clothes'' and a short haircut. It helps, but it's not enough. You and your posts help me through these rough times. Thank you.

oh my, dear, that’s awful. likely i wouldn’t have had the courage to come out if i was in your situation so please know that i am super proud of your honesty towards yourself - the hardest acceptance to ask for is always your own.

i am glad i can help you even just a little bit. and honestly if you ever need any help/support/pep talks i am here and listening and i check messages almost daily.

brushing barely-an-inch-hair away

(seven months on t)